Self-Centred Newsletter – introducing the Kin Keepers’ Haven

Posted on by Janine Bertolo

November 24 2023

Before the Kin Keepers’ Haven, an update:

Hello friends,

I have some exciting news to share about the Kin Keepers’ Haven, but before that, I’d like to give you an update and talk about the times we’re living in.

There has been a lot of movement in my life since my last newsletter that feels energizing and exhausting all at the same time. 

It’s an especially difficult time to be human on this planet, with war and genocide and colonization reaching epic and catastrophic levels. I am finding it difficult to remain engaged without falling into deep despair. 

I want you to know that if your feeling that too, you are not alone.

I see you and I love you and I am here for you as my capacity allows.

Reach out for the resources that can support and nurture you in these troubled times. It’s more important than ever.

It’s what will keep us moving towards the better world we know is possible.

The world needs your magic, and you deserve care.

“The times are urgent; let us slow down. Slowing down is losing our way—not a human capacity or human capability. It is about the tensions, the invitations that are now in the world-at-large, inviting us to listen deeply, to be keen, to be fresh, to be quick with our heels, to follow the sights and sounds and smells of the world.”
~ Dr. Bayo Akomolafe

When I was in my 30’s I often described my workplace as the last bastion of good old boys supremacy in the western world.

And that just tells you I hadn’t seen much of the world by my 30’s.

Here’s a newsflash for younger me: we can’t escape capitalism. At least not while we occupy this body. The time may come, but not in this lifetime.

So, the question becomes “How do I live true to the values of social justice and collective care for each other and the planet, when my life is governed by systems of oppression?”

Without burning out, without self-extraction, without self-imploding?

It has literally taken a lifetime for me to realize that many of the voices and edicts governing my life and behaviour were not mine. And to realize that tilting at windmills without the support of regenerative community and sustainability only led to burnout and exhaustion.

I dream of a return to the Commons and a world where all living beings have equal access to the necessities of life, including laughter, rest, creativity, and joy.

Even though I didn’t always have the words, this dream has been the undercurrent of all my pursuits from an early age. This dream reflects my true embodied nature.

I occupy a large body, with chronic pain and mobility loss because of severe osteo-arthritis of the knees.

I have been refused surgical care twice because the medical system follows the colonial and capitalist BMI instead of science as its guide for success.

I am on an ongoing journey of learning to love and leverage my body in its current state, understanding its needs and preferences, and striving for greater ease and joy in my everyday life.

I find myself in my third act of life embracing the mantle of anti-capitalist crone, learning to trust my body and its needs, striving daily to identify and unlearn the voices of white heteronormative patriarchy that are insidiously planted in our brains from an early age – voices that, without critical inquiry, we often confuse as our own.

I have grappled with the duality of having to play the capitalist game to survive, and recognizing that there are small, doable ways of disrupting the system by playing the game – at the same time fully acknowledging intersections of privilege that allow me to access safety and comfort that are inaccessible to too many.

Adopting a designer dog rescue pup who was slated for destruction by a designer dog breeder who couldn’t capitalize on his life quickly enough to make a profit (and letting you know this is what’s happening in the pet industry – it’s horrifying) is a small way of disrupting the system, with joy and with justice.

Embracing diet culture to bring my body to the place where I can access medical care.

Taking advantage of a hot real estate market to sell high and buy low can realize profits to flow back into progressive causes and organizations working for liberation, peace, and decolonization.

Striving for community, compassion, connection all disrupt capitalism in small, doable, and regenerative ways. Learning to ask for help, sharing the load disrupts capitalism.

Even though the world upholds individualism, boot-strapping, and dream of the “self-made man” none of us is able to make it on our own. None of us.

And in case you’re wondering, understanding something somatically in your core doesn’t mean it comes easily or without self-scrutiny. Our brains are strong protectors with a lifetime of experience keeping us safe.

To paraphrase Jessica Lanyadoo (and if you are not following her on Instagram or listening to her Ghost of a Podcast, you’re really missing out – just saying):  “Being embodied isn’t necessarily comfortable.”

I can attest to the truth of this statement. But I would add that becoming truly embodied allows us to increase our capacity to hold discomfort, and this is the first step towards true healing.

This is the framework of my life and my work, often executed with a messy and imperfect slow yes.

Introducing the Kin Keepers’ Haven

Speaking of slow yesses, I would like to tell you about an exciting new venture that has resulted from a messy, imperfect process of slow yes that began a few months ago with the amazing and incomparable Trevia Woods.

We are launching a virtual collaboration called the Kin Keepers’ Haven, a space to gather and support each other, to unlearn and celebrate, to heal and reconnect.

A monthly subscription gives you access to all our courses and offerings, as well as the shared space to connect and collaborate with other culture makers, care givers, and world changing witches. A space to unlearn systems of harm where we don’t have to diminish ourselves to find acceptance.

The Kin Keepers’ Haven will be open for membership December 1. Founding members pay $30 monthly and can cancel at any time.

Trevia and I would be so happy to welcome you there.

Introducing the Kin Keeper's Haven

the Caucus of Crones is moving to the Kin Keepers’ Haven

AND…I am moving the Caucus of Crones from Kelly Diels‘ Gathering Space to the Kin Keepers’ Haven included with your monthly subscription.

The Caucus of Crones welcomes members of Kin Keepers Haven aged 50 and older to join Crones from the Kelly Diels space to cackle, collaborate, conspire, and cultivate leadership in a world where older woman are made invisible 

It’s a space for stepping into our power and agency as elders, to resist ageism in all its destructive iterations, to reclaim our ancestral legacy, to celebrate and support each other.

I’m so excited about offering this space to a wider community of Crones.

If you would like to receive an invitation to join the Kin Keepers’ Haven December 1, you can request one by emailing kinkeepershaven@gmail.com.

I remain available for 1:1 coaching sessions.

The Caucus of Crones is moving to the Kin Keepers' Haven


As we move into the season of darkness, I wish you warmth, comfort, and ease. May you find alternate forms of light, within and without, until the sun returns, and dormant nature is one again reborn in spring.
 
Janine

Thank you for being here!

I appreciate you and would love to hear your feedback; just hit reply.

Feel free to forward this email to anyone who might appreciate it.

If you’ve received this email as a blog post and would like to subscribe, you can do that here. 

Until next time,

Janine Bertolo (she/her)
www.janinebertolo.ca
Trauma-informed somatic coach & space holder
Anti-capitalist crone & Culture Maker

3 Questions for the Full Moon in August

Posted on by Janine Bertolo
low angle photography of full moon under silhouette of tall trees

Welcome to Leo season dear friends!

The full moon arrives on August 11 at 9:36 p.m. in the Eastern time zone.

I always look forward to Sarah Kemp’s Moonlight and Manifesting full moon guided practices (via Patreon.com – you can follow without subscribing to read public posts). If you’re interested, you can find all of Sara’s offerings here.

It’s also Perseid season…. have you seen streaks of light in the night sky? You’re not imagining things! The meteor shower will reach its peak in the early morning August 13, but if you have clear skies, the brightness of the full moon might make viewing difficult.

Either way, there’s magical light falling on us this week.

I have such fond memories of discovering quite accidentally that meteor showers are a thing, one hot summer night in 1987 while on community retreat. After most were in bed, a few friends gathered on the lake shore to wind down and enjoy the summer evening. We counted over 200 shooting stars that night and I was forever hooked.

I love to think about the cyclical timing of the universe that carries us on our annual trip around the sun, through belts of cosmic debris that burn up on hitting the Earth’s atmosphere.

Scientific and magical all at the same time.

This month’s newsletter follows the format set by the 3 Questions with Kat & Val podcast, a weekly delight that asks, “What’s bringing you joy?” “What’s moving around for you?” and “What are you learning?”

I look forward to Tuesdays when Kat and Val release new episodes.

What’s bringing me joy?
– Breakfast Bowls (lunch and dinner bowls – aka salads – too):
I love vegetables. I love fresh. I love the abundance of fresh local and delicious produce available to us during the summer. And I love being able to* toss a random combination of things into a bowl for a healthy, nutritious and delicious meal. This morning’s breakfast bowl consisted of tomatoes grown by my partner in our yard (you can taste the sunshine in them!), sprouts, arugula, lettuce, green onion, avocado, fried eggs and cooked ham. So.fucking.delicious.

*Okay, more accurately, my lovely partner does the tossing, the shopping, the cooking, and the bowl assembly, not me. And this too brings me joy.

Being able to listen to your body’s needs and honour them; to be able to ask someone to source the ingredients and prepare them, is a sign of a healthy nervous system. I haven’t always been there, and having regained the capacity for this also brings me joy.

– Ms. Marvel is delight. It brings me joy, and if it doesn’t bring you joy, I don’t want to hear about it.

– Learning and creating new things – I created a guided practice for orienting to your space and cultivating safety. Learning to use the audio conversion and mixing software, searching for background music and integrating it was… well it was fun!

You can listen and download the new thing I made here.

What’s moving around for me?
The non-binary nature of consent: and by this I mean recognizing that all-or-nothing perfectionist thinking has infiltrated my brain so that I deem any level of discomfort around something new as non-consensual.

This is simply not true and, more importantly, this internalized messaging keeps me in a state of freeze or stasis, unable to move or grow or expand, even when I desire it.

Without curious inquiry, this dynamic plays out in my life around chronic pain and mobility, around relationships, community-building and justice work. The discomfort of stretching into new places of learning and growing is not self-harm.

I am finding the work of Betty Martin and the Wheel of Consent very helpful in unpacking this. You can learn more about it here.

The concept of dirty pain versus clean pain described by Resmaa Menakem in this article also speaks to this idea, and is something that I am digesting and integrating:

“When people respond from their most wounded parts, become cruel or violent or run away, we experience dirty pain” (Menakem, R., 2017, pg. 20). When we avoid pain and discomfort, we also create more of it for ourselves and for others. To heal collectively, we must be willing to engage and feel clean pain.”

***
I have joined the Institute for Radical Permission facilitated by adrienne marie brown and Sonya Renee Taylor.

The most recent teachings explore self-worship as an act of radical permission, including developing decadence practices for ourselves.

There are some sticky bits around this for me.

In answer to a question about how to cultivate self-worship, adrienne marie brown suggested taking time to look at the moon the next time it’s full.

Notice that the surface of the moon is not smooth; it’s pockmarked by asteroids that have collided with it. The moon has a face because of those shadows; the moon has acne scars.

The moon never apologizes for its shadows because they are the story of its shaping, of its being.

The shadows tell the story of what’s shaped us, what we’ve overcome, what we have survived. Each of us is a miraculous being. The shadows shape us. They don’t have to be in charge.

Each of us is a luminous full moon, comprised of shadow and light, unique and precious and invaluable to the whole.

Taking this one to heart.

What am I learning?
See above; it’s all in there.

Offered with love,

Janine 

I am a post-traumatic growth and somatic coach who helps people heal & find ease from trauma that gets stuck in the body so they can live more fulfilled & authentic lives.

I create a safe, consensual, nurturing space for exploring, excavating, and healing, allowing what’s been stuck to move through and out.

​​​​​I love to work with humans to transform individual and collective trauma that disconnects us from the wisdom of our bodies, and keeps us from living joyful, connected lives.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

You can find more about my offerings here.

Self-Centred: What If You Were Easier On Yourself?

Posted on by Janine Bertolo

Hey there,

It’s been way more than a minute since I’ve written. And we’re back in retrograde season. Fasten your seatbelts! Or maybe even better, slow down.

I’ve been doing some pretty deep humaning since writing to you last, and HUMANING IS HARD.

So, with your indulgence I’m going to time travel back to March to share something I began to write then. Something that still feels relevant and potent for me today.

And maybe you can relate…

(this one is longish – you may want to grab a cup of tea)

There is a voice in my head calling the shots – my manager. She isn’t who am anymore. But her voice is still loud and bossy and dominant.

It makes sense that she feels that way. She was running the show up until three years ago, and that means she ran the show for 58 years.

She did the very best she could.

But she drew some illogical conclusions from the data that resulted in some pretty unhealthy and unsupportive strategies for living that go like this:

  • I can’t trust anyone, so I must do everything myself or it won’t be as good, or it won’t get done
  • Doing everything by myself makes me really angry; it’s a lot of work and I wish there was someone who could help carry the load
  • Suck it up, get ‘er done, pain is weakness, needing others is weakness
  • Moving cyclically through hypervigilance (trying to control all the variables) to freeze (total non-functional depression, eat, sleep, work, walk the dog, binge eat, binge watch, fall asleep, repeat)
  • Knowing that dismantling racism, colonialism, the patriarchy, capitalism, colonialism is the work I want to contribute to
  • Thinking the way to do that is by going to war, politically and energetically, fighting our way to peace, fighting my body, my nature, my blueprint essence

As you can imagine, navigating life according to those rules is a lot of work and extremely extractive. Three years ago, I reached the point where I had nothing left to give – to my work, my family, my partner, my self, my dreams.

My cup was bottomed out. Empty.

My self-centred intention for 2022 is to focus on chronic pain and mobility issues, to find more ease and capacity in my body. To put myself first and to let everything else fall into place from that centred ground.

So, I gifted myself with a series of Rolfing sessions, to massage the muscles and fascia not only where the pain happens, but all over the body. The goal is to fix and retrain posture and structure so that your body can correct any lingering imbalances causing the pain.

It is common for this treatment to bring up emotions and experiences that have become stuck in the body (aka trauma), so I also gifted myself a series of sessions with coach/therapist/magician/world changing witch to accompany through the process.

The week in question, my coaching session “homework” was to find ways of lightening up on myself by 4%. Because 3% seemed like not enough and 5% felt like too much. 4% felt doable.

The week following the time change to Daylight Savings, I decided it would be a good idea to:

Eliminate coffee from my diet
AND dairy
AND begin a bean protocol to expunge toxins from my body
AND have a rolfing session
AND it was the two year anniversary of the pandemic lockdown AND AND AND…

Go big or go home, right? If DST was going to mess me up, might as well make it worth the ride, said my manager.

It didn’t take too long before my body started screaming at me. It sounded pretty much like many variations on “WTF?!”

One morning, when my partner was planning to make himself a half pot of coffee and an oat milk matcha green latte for me, I decided to ditch the oat milk latte and return to coffee, all dressed with coconut milk, cacao, a splash of maple syrup and a cinnamon stick. Black coffee messes with my gut. Coffee with all the things doesn’t. It was delicious, and I felt more human than I had all week.

I’m Italian. Pretty sure coffee is an ancestral food. Going with that.

Navigating stairs often hurts and is always slow for me and I am blessed with a partner who happily uses his movement breaks to deliver snacks and tea throughout my workday.

That afternoon while I was working in my downstairs office, preparing for a client session, my loving partner up and decided to do some resourcing of his own and took off in the car for a hike in the woods near a beautiful waterfall. He texted from the car to say he was on the way.

Without asking me if he could deliver tea or snacks beforehand. 

My manager kicked in:

“HOW DARE HE?!

This kind of inconsiderate behaviour just confirms everything I know to be true about people and how you can’t depend on them.”

I observed the feelings of abandonment that came up in the moment, and then I laughed.

The manager would have created a crisis, held on to the feelings of abandonment until they festered into bitterness, and armed herself for a big fight whenever the bastard decided to return. 

But me? Me now? She LAUGHED!

The truth was that there was plenty of time before my client session to wander upstairs to make a cup of tea. So that’s what I did.

And guess what? Nothing blew up and the world did not end.

That night I had a revision of a recurring childhood dream:

I’m in the back seat on a road trip with my parents sitting up front when they disappear but the car keeps driving out of control with no driver, so I must climb over the front seat, take the wheel and steer the car to safety.

(How obvious, right?)

The feelings in this recurring dream were consistent in childhood: fear and panic and terror.

This new dream was the same but different:

My partner and I were on a road trip, but somehow I was sitting in the back seat. He decided he had to take care of something important and left the vehicle. No drama on his part but the car was still running. So, I climbed over the front seat, took the wheel, parked the car and explored the streets of a new and unknown place to find him and let him know where the car was so we could resume our adventure when he was done with whatever it was he’d needed to do.

No fear, no panic, no terror. I felt calm and in control and resourced.

Could it be that my brain and nervous system were processing the niggle of abandonment I’d felt the day before? Letting the feelings move through my body instead of getting stuck?

I’m thinking yes.

The new me has been calling the shots for three short years, just 5% of the time I’ve been circling the sun in this body.

The new me is a virtual toddler.

Maybe it’s time to cut her some slack already. 4% is what feels doable for my nervous system.

Starting with a delicious cup of morning coffee that doesn’t mess with my gut.

And here’s the thing: starting to work with what feels doable, with 4%, seems to have opened so much more than 4% capacity for nervous system regulation and healing.

Those old voices, while not completely silent, don’t run the show anymore. I love and respect my manager for taking care of me for so long.

She has some wisdom. She’s part of the family. We talk, reminisce about the old days; I soothe her, and offer her some rest.

She seems to be good with that, and life feels so much more than 4% easier.

What are the ways that you might be easier on yourself?

By 1%, 2%, 3% or 4…. Whatever feels doable for you.

I encourage you to give it a try, and see what opens up.

I would love to hear about it if you’d like to share.

Wishing you self-centred peace and love,

Janine

Thinking of working with me?

A Future Planning Session is a great way to discover how it feels.

Give yourself the gift of an hour, in safe supportive space, to land in your body and focus in on want you’d like to create for yourself.

I’ll offer that space, some grounding practices, insights and suggestions.

I know the power of setting intentions and getting out of my own way to allow them to manifest and would be honoured to hold that kind of space for you.
 
Sessions are delivered by Zoom, priced at the introductory rate of $250.

Book now or click here for more information.
Thank you for being here!

I appreciate you and would love to hear your feedback; just hit reply.

Feel free to pass this along to anyone who might appreciate it.

If you would like to subscribe and have Self-Centred delivered to your email inbox, you can do that here. 

Until next time,

Janine Bertolo (she/her)
www.janinebertolo.ca
Trauma-informed somatic coach & space holder
Anti-capitalist crone & Culture Maker

Self-Centred

Posted on by Janine Bertolo

March 13 Newsletter

Hello beautiful human,

How’s the human being thing going?

I don’t know about you, but I am ready for spring.

Curiously enough, my body seems to have shifted into daylight savings time on its own – I’m heading to bed and waking an hour earlier over the last couple of days.

If you know me at all, you’ll know how UNUSUAL that is. It’s not exaggeration to say I hate DST, especially at its end when I usually feel a real dissonance in my body that screams “the time is wrong! Put it back where it’s supposed to be and leave it there please.” Actually, no please. Just do it.

So this year, as we  approach the change to DST, this change in my body is curious. What’s going on here? Stay tuned to find out what happens in November.

That was a really long introduction to let you know that changes are afoot, and I’m not just talking about the clocks moving forward an hour Sunday morning.

I’m unapologetic about changing the name of this newsletter to “Self-Centred” 

While I will always identify as an anti-capitalist crone, I want to shift this space to explore together: What does it mean to be and become self-centred?

Self-centred…

It’s a term that definitely holds negative connotations, right?

But what exactly is wrong with being self-centred?

I’m not talking about being the centre of the universe – that’s a developmental phase that we grow out of in infancy if all goes well.

The way I see it (and I’m not alone – thanks to Kelly Diels for the conversation that inspired this process) we’re supposed to be the centres of our own goddamn lives.

Even if the world tells us that’s wrong. 

Even if systems of fuckery do their damndest to separate us from our selves so they can steam along unchallenged.

We are conditioned to believe messages that tell us we’re too much. At the same time as being told we’re not enough. Too smart, too fat, too thin, too white, too brown, too loud, too quiet, too femme, too butch, too much.

We believe we’re broken when in fact it’s the world that’s broken, not us.

The messages are so consistent and persistent that we internalize them and don’t even remember when or how we left our selves behind. 

We begin to tell ourselves we’re too much and not enough, and we’re really really good at it. The systems of fuckery have successfully offloaded the labour of keeping us weak and distracted. Evil genius really.

What happens when we’re not self-centred?

Everyone and anyone else with a louder voice gets to call the shots.

We buy into the messages of capitalism and colonialism that treat life – plant, animal and human – as commodity. We place value on what we do rather than who we are. We become cogs in the machine.

We can only see binaries in a decidely non-binary world. Black/white; right/wrong; with me or against me.

We acknowledge everyone else’s needs before tending to our own. Except on the rare occasion that the oxygen mask drops from the cabin ceiling, putting your own needs first is simply unacceptable.

Even if we smile and nod at hearing “you can’t give from an empty cup” do we really live that way?

It’s often just another way for the hustle and bustle world to shame us into submission. “What’s wrong with you that you’re cup is empty? Pull up your bootstraps and get ‘er done already. Look at me, I’ve done it. Enter your credit card information here, and you’ll fee so much better.”

For five minutes before the buyer’s remorse sets in. And then it just becomes another example of the ways in which we’re broken.

We’re running on empty and can’t figure out why we’re depressed, stressed, exhausted, and feeling hopeless.

We fall under the spell of perfectionism that throws us into freeze when anything we attempt is not perfect.

We think we have to do it all on our own and that asking for help is weakness.

We collapse. And the systems of fuckery have won.

Well fuck that.

I’m reclaiming “Self-Centred”

And I’d love you to join me.

I believe our bodies remember that true authentic voice that says “You matter. You are loved. You are valuable and the world needs you. Just as you are.”

And I want to spread the word.

Send a reply: I’d love to know your thoughts on being and becoming self-centred. 

Othersise there’s nothing for you to do, except look for the next newsletter. It’ll have a new name.

If you decide this new direction isn’t for you, know that I honour and appreciate you.

Big love is coming your way,

Crone Connection – February 2 2022

Posted on by Janine Bertolo

Hey Beautiful Human,

How are you doing? Really?

In my last newsletter I talked about feeling like January was the 13th month of 2021 – in other words, it didn’t feel very new year-y.

It’s February now – Happy Ground Hog Day for those celebrating.

And we’ve moved into the new Lunar Year. The year of the Water Tiger.

I’m beginning to realize that my body might be more connected to the lunar calendar than the Gregorian – a shocker, I know. More connected to nature and its flow, to the earth that we’re born from and will return to, than some artificial construct of a 16th Century pope.

This feels more like the New Year for me – how about you?

I am feeling a little more energy to tend my priorities – health, family, community, business, changing the world. And with Imbolc marking the halfway point between Winter and Summer Solstice, I feel hope for spring bubbling up. Just a little bit.

It’s been a week here in Canada’s National Capital Region. At writing, we are on the sixth day of siege by the “Freedom Trucker Convoy” – a group of unhappy people who’ve travelled across the country to overthrow the government and ‘get their freedom back’.

Speaking as an activist who’s spent many days and hours demonstrating and protesting on Parliament Hill over the last 20 years, this week is unprecedented in the displays of white supremacy and hate, bullying, violence, disrespect, and desecration, disrupting the homes and work of people living here.

The residual stress is a lot. My heart goes out to those who have endured the blockade of their streets and communities with an endless barrage of air horns and diesel fumes.

While it is difficult to impossible to access the city, I have had the privilege of observing from the distance of our country riverbank perch.

I’ve noticed in the observing that my brain and body go into fight mode, with a desire for justice that is informed by systems of fuckery – capitalism, colonialism, racism, the patriarchy.

So instead of taking a transformative, restorative justice approach, I want revenge. I demonize. I want punishment and retribution.

But whatever their motivation, it is clear to me that these protesters are not happy people.

Happy people don’t deface, publicly defecate and urinate, disrupt, bully, and threaten other people into submitting to their will, all in the name of ‘freedom.’

I’m pretty sure I’m right about this, even if it is a hard pill to swallow.

Because it means, whether or not my body screams for it I would not be happy disrupting, bullying, or threatening other people into compliance with my version of an ideal world. That and it wouldn’t work.

Even if I was capable of it, I can’t just exact revenge and expect anything to change.

It’s not that I don’t believe we should not be accountable for our actions. We absolutely should.

But, as Audre Lorde points out, the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.

It applies to me just as naturally as it does to the people occupying my city.

The question remains though – what do I DO?

And the answer is this:  I seek community.

This is not a realization I came to on my own by the way. I just knew in my body that I needed to be with my people and attended the Slow Burn Monday morning musing session this week hosted by Larissa Parson. *

The next day, I attended the final main lesson of the ReBloom advance coach training * – Unlearning Systems of Harm and Co-Creating with Life Itself.

And in that discussion, by bringing my authentic heart the place of safety and consent, someone shared this offering (as well as a description of the Water Tiger and its significance) from Daria of Accountability Mapping. He teaches transformative justice through the body.

I’m signed up.

My nervous system is feeling soothed, and my capacity for taking this next step in healing and growth has increased.

Community: It’s a simple and elegant antidote to the trauma of isolation and individualism that systems of fuckery espouse.

We’re not meant to go it alone.

It all starts in the body.

Find your people (and just in case you need to hear this, EVERYONE is not your people)

Find the places where you feel safe and held. Let them fill your cup.

The world needs you.

Until next time, with love,

Janine Bertolo (she/her)
Anti-capitalist crone and culture maker 
Trauma-informed somatic coach 
Consensual Copywriter

* You may have noticed a trend here. Do two newsletters make a trend? These are my people, and you’ll probably hear more about them if you decide to stick around, because this is the space where I share what I love.

I appreciate you and would love to hear your feedback; just hit reply.

Feel free to pass this along to anyone who might appreciate it.

And if you’ve received this email as a forward and would like to subscribe, you can do that here.

Happy Croney New Year!

Posted on by Janine Bertolo

Acknowledging my colonial settler privilege in living and working on the unceded territory of the Algonquin Anishinaabe People, in progress of learning right relationship with the land and its First People.

Note to readers: It’s been a while… Happy New Year! I have created a subscription newsletter, but will continue to post here as well. So, if you’re happy with receiving these dispatches as is, don’t change a thing. If you’d rather subscribe to Crone Connection newsletter, you can do that here

There’s big stuff happening in the world right now, and its impacts on our lives and relationships are significant.

I don’t know about you, but I have to take the news in very small doses to prevent feeling overwhelmed and helpless with the state of the world.

And I’m so goddamned tired of all things pandemic.

Though if the truth be known, it’s not really the pandemic I’m tired of. For me, the deep fatigue and burnout set in long before the pandemic hit.

It’s capitalism, colonialism, the white heteronormative patriarchy that’s exhausting me, and has been for … well for my whole life.

The pandemic has just blown the lid off of a system that has really only worked for a very small 1% of the world. The rest of us have been navigating healthcare, childcare, home care, education, justice, and economic systems that are underfunded, undervalued, and have been on the brink of collapse for a very long time now.

A system that has been rigged to keep power and resources in the hands of a very few, predominantly white, predominantly old, predominantly straight, men.

The rest of us are told that it’s our fault we’re not thriving. That all we have to do is pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, straighten up and fly right, so we can the 1% too.

And in case you didn’t already see where this is going, I’m here to call bullshit on that.

Don’t blame the pandemic

The messages of capitalism tell us we have to go it alone, to trust no one, and that there’s something fundamentally wrong with us if we’re not thriving. Those messages have never landed well in my body, and decades of allowing them to dictate my life have taken their toll.

I believe (and I am not alone) that healing, and transformative change are only truly possible in community.

The patriarchy has conditioned us to believe we are here to deliver, to serve, but that’s just one aspect of the flow required for human beings to thrive. I have learned that the simple act of receiving can be a revolutionary move.

I am so grateful for the communities of care that have welcomed me, provided a landing place for exploring, excavating, dreaming of, and working towards creating a better world. I have received so much.

Just in case you need one, here’s your permission slip to do the same.

Find the people and places that nurture you, that fill your cup with love, and sit with them. It’s not comfortable given that we’ve been programmed to go it alone, but I can assure you that it’s worth navigating the discomfort.

And you may just find magic.

I have found these communities to be filled with revolutionary soulmates, supportive and nurturing and essential and soothing to my body, mind, and soul:

The Slow Burn Community (and all things Larissa Parson)

We Are the Culture Makers (and all things Kelly Diels)

The ReBloom Advanced Coach Training Community (and all things Rachael Maddox)

Future Planning Sessions

This past weekend, I heard Christina Lopes say that, rather than feeling like the start of a new year, January 2022 feels more like the 13th month of 2021. Apparently there are astrological reasons for this; the universe follows its own rhythm.

Are you feeling it too?

I know I am, and it was reassuring for me to know others are feeling the same way. That we’re all not quite ready to burst forth into the new year with our one big thing yet, not quite ready to make that list of resolutions and buckle down. We’re tired and we need to rest.

And it’s okay. It’s okay to be gentle with yourself, to go slowly, choose what feels best for you, and make decisions from that centered place.

In addition to my regular offerings as a trauma-informed and somatic coach, I have introduced Future Planning Sessions – an hour in safe supportive space to land in your body and focus in on want you’d like to create for yourself in the next few months.

I know the power of setting intentions and getting out of my own way to allow them to manifest and would be honoured to hold that space for you.

Sessions are delivered by Zoom, priced at the introductory rate of $150, and transferrable so you can buy one for a friend.

Book now or click here for more information. ⠀⠀

Thank you for reading my new year newsletter! I appreciate you and would love to hear your feedback; just hit reply.

Feel free to pass this along to anyone who might appreciate it.

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Until next time, with love,

Janine Bertolo (she/her)
Anti-capitalist crone and culture maker 
Trauma-informed somatic coach