Dreaming of Blue Bears

Photo: https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=23241619#file

From the Self-Centred Newsletter

Say what you will about social media – it’s a double-edged sword and, like most of us, I get caught up in doom scrolling for more time than I like – but I do love the ‘memories’ features that reminds me of where I was on this day last year, and the year before.

My social media memories reminded me of a dream I had a year ago. You can read the post here.

This memory, this dream, remind me of what it felt like to be moving to this place, with all its beauty and comfort and peace.

I’ve begun the journey of reconnection to ancestral wisdom waiting to be tapped – in the gifts of the earth, the nature that surround me, and the cells of my body.

I recognize that this is where I find peace, purpose, and joy.

And I recognize that it’s accessible by slowing down, pausing, quieting my mind, and listening with my body – by becoming self-centred.

This memory reminds me that happiness is elusive and that the patterns of thinking and behaviour governed by my very powerful mind are deeply ingrained, requiring regular and intentional rhythms of care to be soothed and quieted to allow the nature of the land and my body to speak.

It’s especially helpful when I get into the dark space of believing everything bad or undesirable in my life, the world, and everything has been there forever; when I spin out into the hopelessness that says nothing will ever, ever change.

I’m reminded, for instance, that not too long ago this body that is currently having difficulty moving was able to carry me on hikes through the woods, to ride a bike. I’m reminded that my mobility and pain have not been with me forever, that my body is resilient and has the capacity to heal.

I’m reminded that I have been surrounded by amazing humans, with whom I have shared deep love. Their words, their images, their love, comes back to me in those social media memories, even after they’ve rejoined the earth and become ancestors.

And my body remembers that grief is the result of having loved deeply, that it as natural and welcome in my body as the love that has not been lost, but rather transformed.

I’m reminded that as bleak as the state of the world may feel right now, that there were, are, and always will be places to find joy and hope.

And I’m reminded that those places are usually found in connection with my right people, many of whom I am able to connect with on the very social media platforms that can be so troublesome.

In the past few days, I have experienced the gift of being with my right people in person, without screens, sharing the same physical space, food, drink, laughter, and tears. My body had forgotten how grounding and soothing and uplifting that can be.

My body had also forgotten how activating that can be. I remember that change, even good change, can be activating.  

I am grateful that me a year later knows what to do with that activation to allow it to rise up and move out. Even when life has pulled me away from the rhythms of ritual and care that nourish me, that I have the capacity and agency to return to them.

I recognize by listening to its chatter that my brain is stuck in the habits of the past that were informed by systems of harm that deny the cyclical nature of the seasons of life, that embrace scarcity and leave no room for the possibilities that come in letting some things die and decay to create the rich compost from which all new life springs.

That voice has me holding on to physical objects as well as beliefs and behaviour patterns that no longer serve me. They might just come in handy again, right?

I find myself now in the place of needing to rest, digest, and integrate the gifts of these last few days.

As well as the need to discard the baggage that I’ve carried with me into the now, because my brain tells me I can’t let go of anything – whether it’s a physical object or a belief that no longer serves me. It might just come in handy some time.

I recognize that the burden of carrying all that baggage is exhausting, and keeps me from accessing the liberation, the joy, the agency, the community I seek.

Whether it’s by luck or coincidence or divine timing, today marks the full moon in Capricorn.

I plan to mark the occasion by journaling and drawing what needs to be released and burning it all in a ritual fire, on this sacred and beautiful shore that is my home, for now.

I love Sarah Kemp’s Moonlight and Manifesting reflections and journal prompts. You can download today’s here if you’d like to join me.

My soul seed, born in the 60’s would never have imagined social media, or that the Facebook memories feature would be part of my daily rhythms of care, but here we are.

Life goes on and I’m blessed to be living it.

Hi. I’m Janine,

I am a post-traumatic growth and somatic coach who helps people heal & find ease from trauma that gets stuck in the body so they can live more fulfilled & authentic lives.
I create a safe, consensual, nurturing space for exploring, excavating, and healing, allowing what’s been stuck to move through and out.

You can find more about my offerings here.